Al-Hakim, grand khalif of Egypt -- whose reign over his people was simultaneously gentle, loving and tyrannical -- is presumed dead this week, after his famed donkey, al Kamr, trotted riderless into Al Qahira. His majesty's royal clothing was later found stuffed in a well, ripped and bloodstained. While most suspect foul play, members of the Shiite sect of Islam say Kakim has merely ascended to a spiritual realm.

     Born into the royal Fatamid family, Hakim reached the throne as an 11-year old, learning of his ascendancy on his birthday. His favorite eunich Bargawan, who affectionately called the young prince "Little Lizard," told him his father had been killed. The distraught Little Lizard immediately had his tutor eunuch put to death.

     "It was probably Bargawan's fault," recalled one of Hakim's loyal subjects and a believer in the "spiritual realm" theory. "You know -- eunuchs, the whole bearer-of-bad-news thing. It was bound to happen."

     Besides building the picturesque Mosque of Al Hakim, the khalif, a Muslim, prided himself on dividing the religions -- fashionably. Jews were forced to wear bells to identify themselves and Christians were made to wear black sashes.

     Hakim preferred the night to the day and made it part of his life's work to change a people who were used to sunlight. He ordered shops to open only at night. His subjects slowly grew accustomed to this, but when the people started having parties and entertaining at night, Hakim punished them by outlawing the making of wine, beer, and a spinach-like dish called mulokhiya. As if that weren't enough -- to make sure this wouldn't happen again -- Hakim poured all of Egypt's honey into the Nile and placed a 7 1/2 year ban on women leaving the house. Thinking he still had not gone far enough, Hakim also placed a permanent moratorium of the making of women's shoes and the selling of fish without scales.

     But Hakim had a playful side that many people didn't get to see, said friends he didn't kill.

     Hakim, the Little Lizard is survived by his son Zahir, who memorialized his father this week by luring 2,660 women into a mosque, bricking the entrance, and leaving them to die.