Ask Jane
Advice to the LoveLorn..1200's Version.
Q: I am marrying some girl my father fixed me up with from the next village. I don't mind not having seen her because she does come with a dowry of six hogs, a dozen chickens and a tiled (not thatched) roof hut. But enough about the money end of the deal.
She wants me to give her a ring to signify the engagement. Who ever heard of such a thing?
Barney the Brute
Q: My husband is a stone mason and travels from cathedral to cathedral. His hands are dried and cracked, and when he carves gargoyles, a pain shoots up his arm. What do you do?
Fiona the Meek
A: Guess he missed the "to the manner born" opportunity.
If your husband knows his letters, he might consider changing careers and going into manuscripts. (They need some help at the monastery.) Until then, have him drink a potion of goat's milk, toad skin, and eye of newt for the pain. When he comes in from a hard day at the cathedral, slather those calloused hands with hog lard to keep them smooth.
Q: I am recently orphaned and am hoping to get a job as a court jester. My friends say I juggle a mean ball and sing amusing songs but I don't know where to start. Jestering offers some financial security for a young man on his own..any ideas?
Eric the Wit
A: Castle doorways are littered with would-be jesters waiting for their big break. I trust your work clothes are garish and your jingle bells are wild, so you will be noticed in this crowd. It helps, too, to have a physical anomaly -- too tall or too small?
Though there is some financial security -- room and table scraps in exchange for entertainment -- jestering is a risky business with a rich heritage. Aesop worked as a jester before penning the fables, and Solomon employed jesters.
As far as making a "real" income though, I don't believe anyone in the entertainment industry will ever have more than two farthings to rub together.
Q: With all the talk of heresy, exile, and confiscation, no one has bothered to explaing to me what the word "Inquisition" means or where it came from. Maybe I'm a stickler, but language origins are important.
Stanislav the Scribe
Q: After teaching and doing private research in languages, astronomy, and experimental science, I was thinking of joining the Franciscans. Do you know anything about this group or whether they will accept me?
Roger Bacon
A: Founded by St. Francis of Assisi, the Franciscans, originally the Order of Friars Minor, vow to lead a life of teaching and poverty. Soundsl ike you would fit right in. You might want to keep that "world-is round" and "center-of-the-universe" theory (hey, it takes all kinds) to yourself, as I hear the Church frowns on this sort of experimental science. Next thing you know, you will be proposing someone try to travel based on this cockamamie idea.
Q: Where can I buy some of those new glass mirrors? I have some polished metal ones, but word has it these glass ones are all the rage. I would like to surprise my brother with one as a gift when he gets back from the Crusades.
Elizabeth the Lesser
A: Hope you are prepared to part with more than a few florins, Liz. Venetian gaffers (glass makers) have been pouring these mirrors but they are not as reflective as the metal ones. But if you and your brother are determined to keep up with the doge, pick up a glass mirror next time you are in Venice.
Jane, wife of Brian the Wheelwright answers questions from villagers daily. Leave queries at the blacksmith shop, or the tavern on the green. Letters without a signature or identifying mark will not be answered. Oral questions will be heard on the morrow under the great oak tree.
